Speak My Language

"Anyone can speak Troll.  All you have to do is point and grunt." 

-Fred Weasley, from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Mr. Potion and I...we kind of have our own language.  And I don't mean that we've studied linguistics and developed our own method of communication, complete with alphabet and grammatical rules and such.  Nope, that was J. R. R. Tolkien, not us.

But we do have a whole bunch of words sprinkled throughout our everyday conversation that mean absolutely nothing to anybody else and something very specific to us- and this is outside of memespeak / internet language.  I realized the full extent of this the other day when I got off the phone with Mr. Potion at work and was met with the confused stares of my coworkers.

And so Hive, I'm going to give you a crash-course in how to speak Potion!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

image via Meme Generator

berries (beh - rees) (n.) 1. The act of making fart noises by pressing one's mouth against another person's skin; 2. see also: a "raspberry"
ex.  "If you give me berries again, I'm going to punch you in the face."


Mr. Potion likes to tickle me because it makes me squeal loudly and flail about violently.  I, on the other hand, don't particularly enjoy it- hence the squealing and the flailing.  He also occasionally likes to blow raspberries on my arm.  Or stomach.  Or cheek.  Ew.  Once, I was talking about what we should have for dessert after dinner, and I had a pint of strawberries in my fridge.


"Ooh- I want some berries!"


Big mistake.


"You want some berries, huh?"


And then the fart noises began.  I have to be sure to avoid the word "berries" in conversation now, because it doesn't mean fruit.

image via That Miserable Bastard

boodergad (boo - dur - gad) (adj.) (n.) (v.) (adv.) Ambiguous curse word; could be used as any part of speech; often preceded by the word das
ex. "Urgh this stupid- freaking- boodergad- wireless router..."


Sooooo sometimes I talk to fast, and when I do, I screw up my words.  Heh.  For some reason, Mr. Potion was singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and he got the lyrics wrong- he said "he knows if you've been good or bad."  So I rushed in to correct him- my favorite thing to do- only I tripped over my words, so what I said was, "no, it's bood or gad- I mean- urgh!"  Once Mr. Potion was able to breathe properly after a healthy fit of laughter, he commented that it sounded like something an angry German guy might shout- "DAS BOODERGAD!"  So now, if we find ourselves in a stressful situation and want to avoid cursing, this is one of the sillier words we throw out there instead of an actual expletive.

image via Univeristy of Saint Thomas

face (fayss) (adj.) (n.) (v.) (adv.) f*ck
ex. "We're never going to beat this level of Super Mario Bros. Wii!  Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!"

This one started at the camp where we met.  Cursing was against the rules, so Mr. Potion started the trend of using the word "face" in place of the f-word.  Of course, this just led to us inventing circumstances to "curse" as often as possible.  "Aw, face!" could be heard during much of our preparations for the various engineering challenges during the week.  To be honest, we don't use this one very often any more, but if either one of us sends a text with only the word FACE, we know they're having a bad day.

image via Quaker Oats

Gorilla Bars (gore - ih - luh bahrs) (n.) Quaker brand Chewy granola bars
ex. "I'm running late, so I'll have a Gorilla Bar for breakfast."


 Kids say the darnedest things, and this is one of them.  When Mr. Potion was little, he misinterpreted his mom when she referred to these snacks as granola bars; he heard the word "gorilla" instead of "granola" and called them that until he learned how to read.  The moment I heard this story, I thought it was the cutest thing EVER and have called these tasty treats Gorilla Bars (it's a proper brand name, y'all) ever since.

image via News Blaze

IHOPs (eye - hops) (n.) IHoP
ex. "After Church on Sunday, let's have IHOPs for breakfast!"

I have no idea why we pluralized the name of this restaurant, but we did.  We never say "Let's go to IHoP," we say "Let's eat IHOPs," as if that's the proper term for food one eats at an IHoP.  We're weird, in case you can't tell.

image via Apparel News

Project Runaway (prah - jekt ruhn - uh - way) (n.) Project Runway
ex. "Can I call you back?  I'm watching Project Runaway."


I love me some Heidi Klum.  I got a sewing machine for my birthday last year and have used it for lots of small, household projects, along with some Christmas presents, but so far, the only clothing I've sewn was for my cousin's Barbie.  I do love to fantasize that one day, I'll be making my own super chic clothes, and I love to live vicariously through the contestants on Project Runway and admire the immense creativity and insane amount of work required for that competition.  And so, of course, if Mr. Potion is over at my place when I'm watching it, he has to sit down with me and watch.  And after a couple of seasons of this forced viewing...he's become a (reluctant) fan of the show!  It got to the point where, last season, he actually knew the names of the three finalists, could identify the designer by their work, and agreed with me that Anya is SO overrated.  ("I mean, she's hot, but all those models are wearing the same thing- a sheet that barely covers their boobs.")  Still, in an effort to preserve his Man Card, he feels the need to tease me when I talk about the show, so he calls it Project Runaway...but the joke's on him, because I call it that now, too!

photo by Food Freak // image via 23

spood (spood) (n.) 1. food you eat with a spoon; 2. food
ex. "I just got off work- what should I have for spood?"

This one was actually Mr. Potion.  I don't remember the exact context, but the words "spoon" and "food" were coming out of his mouth at the same time and this is what happened.  Originally, we defined "spood" to mean food you eat with a spoon, but it has since evolved into meaning just food in general.  We often use it in place of the word "eat"; you don't say "What do I want to eat?" you say "What do I want for spood?"

image via Better Business Bureau

T & A Special (Tee and Ay Spe - shull) (n.) An order at IHOP for an appetizer serving of mozzarella sticks and a short stack of pancakes.
ex. "I think I'm going to order a T & A special!"


So first of all, this isn't as dirty as it sounds- these are our initials.  One time, we were at IHOP for dinner, and I was torn between what I wanted to eat.  I wanted something fried and dinner-y but then again we were at IHOP- I wanted some pancakes.  Mr. Potion suggested I just go ahead and get both- so I did!  Mozzarella sticks for an appetizer, a short stack of pancakes for the main course- and he did the same.  AND IT WAS AWESOME.  It has since become our go-to meal at IHOP, so we've nicknamed it the T & A Special- because the caveat is that we're only allowed to order it if we're together.

image via Wikimedia

Taco Hell (tah - koh hehl) (n.) Taco Bell
ex. "Let's go get hungover food at Taco Hell."


This is all Mr. Potion.  I'm pretty sure it originated from the fact that sometimes, when one eats Taco Bell, one regrets it almost immediately.

image via Wikimedia

two-shoe (too - shoo) (v.) to urinate

ex. "I have to two-shoe; I drank too much wine."

This one is really weird but here we go.  The majority of our relationship prior to getting engaged was long-distance; after we met at camp, we were pen pals who spoke on the phone about once a month for 3 years, and then we officially dated from a distance for 3 years.  This means that almost the entirety of our relationship occurred over the phone; we got very good at our communication skills.  In the very beginning, we would spend hours- sometimes entire Saturdays- on the phone, talking about everything and nothing, never wanting to hang up.  This was especially weird for Mr. Potion who has always been rather introverted and never enjoyed talking on the phone with anyone.  In fact, we'd be on the phone so long, that if one or the other of us needed to use the bathroom, we'd just leave the phone for a few moments and then come back and continue.  Only, as I'm a girl, I take a bit longer in the bathroom than he does, and one time he figured this might be too long to wait on a dead line.


He then proceeded to try to convince me to stay on the phone while I went to the bathroom.  He pulled the "if you love me you'll do it" line, which didn't work.  He tried bribing me with pretty things, which didn't work.  He told me he'd buy me a pair of shoes, which didn't work.


"I'll buy you TWO pairs of shoes!"


"...Two pairs of shoes?"


"TWO PAIRS OF SHOES!"


So I continued our phone conversation while I went to the bathroom.  It is the single weirdest thing I've ever done with a boyfriend in my entire life.  We refer to it as the Two Shoe Challenge, and after that, we'd say "It's time for a Two Shoe Challenge!" if either of us needed to excuse ourselves to the bathroom; this evolved into just the word two-shoe.


(For the record, I didn't get the shoes.  Instead, he bought me the Halloween costume I'd been eying when I said I didn't want to spend money on a costume.  Not the same as two pairs of shoes but still totally worth it.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Do you and your spouse have your own language?  Do you have any inside jokes that pepper your everyday conversation?

We Went to Jared!

Alternate title: "Two Rings to Rule Them All"


So, I'll just get right to it:


We bought wedding bands, y'all!


When talking about wedding bands, we were torn in two directions: bands that match each other, or different bands where mine matches my engagement ring.  We talked a little about materials and styles, but I left most of the research up to Mr. Potion; this was distinctly his project.  I knew I didn't want any diamonds on my band, or anything terribly complicated- it was up to him to look at metals and styles and sizes.

Well, he did his research, but like Mr. Unicorn so eloquently pointed out, there are some advantages to going to a big-box store, as opposed to ordering online or using a smaller jeweler.  So one Sunday, we headed up to Dulles Town Center with the intention of just looking around, getting some price quotes, and moving on to another few stores.

Instead, after about half an hour, we walked out with a couple of rings :)

Well okay we didn't walk out with the rings that day.  They needed to be sized properly, so it was a few weeks before we got to pick them up.  But the point is, the service at Jared was friendly, honest, helpful, and, well, efficient!  Plus- and you know this is my favorite part- we're right on budget!

{personal photo}

 Aren't they pretty?  Turns out we were able to go pretty much middle-of-the-road between matching each other and matching my e-ring.  My ring is white gold, just like my engagement ring. It's thin and rounded, and sits pretty flush against my engagement ring.  His ring is tungsten carbide, and also rather narrow (for a man's ring).  While the metals are obviously not the same color, they're both, well, shiny :)  They're shaped the same, with softly rounded edges and a smooth finish.  So while they look nice together, mine also looks nice with my diamond!  See:

{personal photo}

 Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty!


Where did you get your wedding bands?  Did you do a lot of research first?  Do your rings go together or stand separately?

Prepare to be Showered

Previously, on Miss Potion's Blog:

-My sister is an artist- a really amazing artist
-She's also my MOH
-I like vintage things (even though my hair doesn't always agree with the sentiment)

So, I received this in the mail the other day...

ugly blackouts to protect the innocent // {personal photo}

That right there is another original sketch by my awesome, wonderful, and amazing sister!

Oh- and it's also a bridal shower invite!  Woohoo!

You probably can't read it but at the bottom it says "Please wear your best pearls and dress for a 1950's housewife themed party!"

...okay so confession time: I kind of gave her that idea.  Tacky, right?  I hope not >.<  There have been countless retro housewife bridal showers to grace the interwebs, so I sent one I found on Offbeat Bride to my mom and sister just to say "Hey wouldn't this be fun...?"

But they ran with it from there :)  I've bought an adorable vintage-inspired dress from ModCloth (because, you know, I'm obsessed) and I cannot WAIT for this party.  I hear wooden spoons will be involved, and maybe even aprons...yay!

Did your bridal shower have a theme?

Making a (Stylish) Getaway

Somehow, when we started planning this thing, I knew I didn't want to rent a limo for our wedding day transportation.  Yes, it would be super convenient to get the wedding party from the church to the reception site and would ensure that nobody lollygagged, but, aside from being an unnecessary expense (or at least a low-on-the-priorities-list expense), limos...well, they remind me of prom.

senior prom with my friend D // {personal photo}

Not that prom is a bad thing to be reminded of, it's just not the sort of association I'd like to make on The Big Day.

But there are other options for schmancy transportation!

image via Low Country Carriage LLC

Horse-drawn carriages are super romantic.  However, while I'm sure there are no shortage of horses in Alex City, finding a ride like this one would be much more difficult.  Plus, there's no way we'd fit the whole bridal party in this thing, which kind of defeats the purpose.  (Well, our purpose, anyway.)

photo by Jessica Velarde // image via Juneberry Lane

I love love LOVE the school bus trend, and I honestly considered this for a while.  However, I don't know how easy it is to acquire an old school bus, or to rent one from a school district during the fall, and again- transportation for the bridal party isn't much of a priority, budget-wise, so in the end, we passed this one up.  Besides, it's not on theme.  (That's how I convinced myself to stop lusting over pictures like this.)

So it looks like the bridal party will be carpooling in vehicles belonging to significant others, my parents, and/or my sisters.

And us?

Well, you already know that we'll be driving ourselves from the wedding to the honeymoon and then back home.  But guess whose car we're driving...

{personal photo}

 Meet Suzi, the first car I've ever purchased.  Ain't she a beauty?

driving Suzi to Alex City for the Week of Wedding Work in May // {photo by Mr. Potion}

Suzi is about a year and a half old now and has quite a bit of miles on her, but she's younger than Mr. Potion's car, Holly, who has seen juuuuuust a few more miles.


Does this mean I'll be the one driving us away from the reception...most likely, yes :D  Brides are totally allowed to drive the getaway car!  (I just hope the groomsmen keep the decorations tasteful.)

photo by Emilie Sommer // image via Ruffled

Do you have any creative transportation planned for The Big Day?  How are you making your getaway?  Do you name your vehicles like we do?

On Pissing Each Other Off

Previously, on Miss Potion's Blog:

-Fr. Ninja (the priest marrying us) doesn't live in NOVA- he's just moved to Harrisonburg to be the campus minister at JMU!
-Pre-Cana is what Catholics call all the stuff you do to prepare for marriage (which, it should be noted, is separate from all the stuff you do to prepare for the wedding).  And it's fantastic!
-Until about a year ago, Mr. Potion and I were in a (very) long-distance relationship

As I've mentioned before, Pre-Cana involves not only a formal class taken with many other couples throughout the diocese, but also some one-on-one time with the priest marrying you.  Some of that time is spent doing wedding-planning things like choosing readings and hymns, but that doesn't come until the end.  First, you have to do some preparation for the marriage.  In many dioceses, this means taking a test like the FOCUS survey to pinpoint topics where you either disagree or just haven't discussed yet, and having a series of follow-up meetings to talk about those areas.  Since it's not very convenient to meet with Fr. Ninja on a regular basis, as he's lived at the other end of the state for most of our engagement, he paired us up with his sister and her husband to do the FOCUS follow-up discussions, as well as some little exercises to encourage conversation on mindsets for a healthy marriage.  They live in the area and do marriage prep with couples at their parish, so this was actually very convenient for all of us!

Our last meeting was a short one, but we covered a topic that I think is an important one- annoying each other.

The exercise had us sitting on opposite ends of the sofa with a note card and pen, and we were given a few minutes to write down 3 things about the other person that we find annoying.

"Only three?" I quipped, earning me a stuck-out tongue from Mr. Potion.

Actually, though, it took us both a while to complete a list of three.  I thought of the question as, "In what instances do I find myself thinking, 'Gosh, that's annoying!'" and he thought of the question as, "What habits does Miss Potion have that annoy me?"  This might sound like the same question, but they're actually slightly different.  (That's one of the things I love about us- we think about things in different ways, which makes us a good problem-solving team!)  When we were finally finished, we took turns sharing the things we wrote down.  What I thought was interesting was that we each prefaced our explanation with, "Now, I understand why you do this, and most of the time it's not a big deal, but sometimes, it gets annoying"- acknowledging that most of the time, if one of us is frustrated with the other, it has just as much to do with the mood we're in or our attitude that day as the annoying thing the other person is doing.  We also both acknowledged each time that we were aware of that particular quirk in ourselves and are working on fixing it.  (SPOILER ALERT: We passed this test with flying colors.  Not that it's a test, or graded in any way...)

Sometimes, Mr. Potion doesn't know when to let a joke die.

I'm just sayin'.  // image via All Story

 Most of the time, if I get annoyed with Mr. Potion for telling the same joke / repeating the same funny phrase / pulling the same "prank" a million times, it's because I'm just not in a good-humored mood and it's not (entirely) his fault.  And honestly, the only time this really, really bothers me is if the "joke" is him mocking me for something stupid I said or did.  I should be used to that kind of teasing as I spent most of my life with my family, where you'd better not quote something wrong or it'll be the only thing anybody ever says to you for the rest of your life, but sometimes, if I'm in just the right emotional state, this kind of teasing can hurt, coming from Mr. Potion- the man who is supposed to make me always feel positive about myself.  But he's really been working on noticing if his humor is being received well, and lately he's been leaving those poor dead horses alone.

Miss Potion is rather bossy sometimes all of the time.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas! // image via Canstralian

...guilty as charged.  I can get rather annoying in my tendency to tell other people what to do, including Mr. Potion, and it's something I'm honestly trying to work on in my life overall, not just in our relationship.  I've sort of always lived by the mantra "If you want something done right, do it yourself," but sometimes it's necessary to let other people do things- in which cases, I tell them how to do it!  :D  Mr. Potion acknowledged that I am getting better at asking him to do things instead of outright telling him, and at holding my tongue when I have opinions on what he's doing, unless he asks for help.  It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there!

Mr. Potion sometimes doesn't understand the concept of personal space.

image via I Can Has Cheezburger?

 I know what you're thinking- if this really annoys me now, it's only going to get worse, because in marriage, there's no such thing as personal space!  But honestly this isn't that annoying- remember, I was having a hard time coming up with things to write down!  Sometimes, though, Mr. Potion will want to snuggle on the couch while watching Law and Order while I'd really rather have some space to myself, or (more frustratingly) he'll try to be sweet and put his arms around me or kiss my neck while I'm trying to cook- most of the time, that's really sweet and I like it, but you probably shouldn't touch me while I've got a huge knife in my hand, dude. 

Miss Potion nags Mr. Potion like a professional sit-com wife/mother.

accurate representation of us.  // image via Sitcoms Online

 I know I know I know I know I know!  Urgh!  I am making an honest effort here- I'm at the point where if I say something nagging, I immediately regret it and wish I could unsay it.  The next step is to actually stop saying these things.  Mr. Potion says this is really only annoying some of the time- most of the time he thinks my maternal nature is adorable.  I've always always always been the mom-type- at the summer camp when we met, I was nicknamed the "Team Mom" of our group- some of the guys even chipped in some money to buy me a shirt from the college where the camp was held that said "MOM" in big letters, like the kind an actual mom of a college student might wear to football games.  My need to take care of people gets kind of ridiculous sometimes.  Take a recent example:

Scene: Mr. Potion has a sore throat and has been sucking on cough drops while we sit on the couch watching a movie.  He decides to shift positions and lays down with his head in my lap so I can play with his hair until the movie is over.

Miss Potion: Do you have a cough drop in your mouth?
Mr. Potion: No, I finished it.
Miss Potion: Okay, good, we're on the same page.
Mr. Potion: (bewildered) What page?
Miss Potion: Well, if you were still sucking on a cough drop, I was going to tell you to sit up until you'd finished it- you shouldn't lie down with something in your mouth, you might choke on it.
Mr. Potion: So what you're saying is, it's good that I don't have a cough drop in my mouth anymore because you had a lecture planned which you gave anyway?
Miss Potion: (sheepishly) Um...yes.

I swear I mean well!

To be honest, I don't remember what our third things were- but on each list, all three were slightly similar.  Basically, Mr. Potion is only annoying when he's doing something he thinks is funny and I think is not-so-funny, and I'm only annoying when I'm nagging the hell out of him.

The point of the exercise was not really to point out flaws in the other person or even to acknowledge flaws within ourselves- the point was to realize that when you get married, things don't necessarily change.  Yes, your relationship is different when you're married compared to when you're not (no matter what other people might say) and yes, people grow and change over time, but for the most part, if there is something about your future spouse that pisses you off to no end and you think you can make it go away once you marry them...you can't.  If any of the annoyances on our list were things we just absolutely don't think we can live with, then perhaps the answer is simply- don't get married.

(Don't worry, we can definitely live with these minor annoyances.  Mr. Potion's sense of humor is what first attracted me to him- that and his ridiculous good looks- and he seems to think my nagging nature will make me a good mom one day.  But I'm working on it, I swear!)

So, Hive, fess up- does your SO do anything that annoys you?  Are you aware of your own habits that your SO finds annoying?

Say Cheese! Part 2

Previously, on Miss Potion's Blog:

-We have a reasonable photography budget that may be considered small to some professional photographers
-We don't want most of what is in your average "package"
-We took to an unconventional method for hiring a photographer

When we last left off, we were trying to hire a photography student to shoot our wedding.  The head of the photography program at University of Montevallo (where MOH is studying art) gave us the name of a former student of hers who graduated recently, along with his university email address.  We sent him an email, and...he never responded.  So we tried contacting the professor again to ask for a new suggestion, but as the school year had ended, she didn't respond either.

So what's a bride to do?!

...procrastinate, that's what.

Truth be told, a ton of other things piled up on my plate and for over a month, I let the issue of a photographer slip a little on my priority list.    Of course, even as I plan and blog and make things for this wedding, I'm still reading other wedding blogs.  And one day, one of them was promoting a website called Thumbtack:

image via Thumbtack

It's kind of like a Craigslist for "service pros", as the website calls them.  You fill out this form stating what kind of professional you're looking to hire, where you are, and other relevant details, and then they post your request, and within 24 hours, you have people sending you quotes and descriptions of what they can offer.

What the hell, I figured- might as well give this a shot.

I selected "photographer" and filled out the information with a detailed description of what we were looking for- and what we were NOT looking for.  A handful of local photographers submitted quotes, most of which were obviously new businesses offering low rates to help build their portfolios (as would be the case with a student).  A few well-established businesses responded as well, a couple of which had a nice big well-established price tag- and interestingly enough, their responses did not address what I'd written, but, rather, were a list of packages copied-and-pasted from their websites. 

I immediately ignored the quotes that were out of our budget, and opened up the websites of the rest.

I gotta say, Hive, you get what you pay for.  Some of these places were offering super cheap packages, well under our price range, and a quick click through the galleries of previous weddings they'd shot revealed why.  I hate to sound snobbish, but we're going for a more "photojournalism" style (like everyone who blogs about their wedding)- not a "high school prom photos" style.  And who still does cheesy Photoshop tricks like giving everything a 70's haze or pasting one image on top of another?

I had ruled out nearly every single offer on the list without even needing to show any of them to Mr. Potion.

But then I saw One Photo Gallery in Atlanta.

Charming Whitney had me at the photos on her blog, before I even fully read the offer!

photo by One Photo Gallery // image via Wedding Wire

Her offer includes EVERYTHING we're asking for (plus some prints, even though we don't need them...but hey, I'll take it!), comes in (slightly) UNDER our budget, AND includes a second shooter!  Wow!  We don't necessarily need a second shooter, but there are DEFINITELY benefits to having one, and it's included in a price that's within our budget!  Eeek!

I asked if there would be any travel fees or additional fees for the second shooter, and she explained that since Atlanta is only ~2 hours from Alex City and the wedding is in the daytime, they won't be needing a hotel room and therefore won't charge travel fees.  And all she asks by way of additional fee is that we provide a meal for both her and the second shooter.  We will definitely make sure to pick up breakfast for them when we feed the bridesmaids as the getting ready begins, both photographers can chow down on as much finger-food goodness they can scarf at the reception, and with the handwritten thank you note we give them afterwards (because we're Southern like that), we'll be including a restaurant gift card so they can grab dinner on the way back to Hotlanta.  Boom!

Mr. Potion was on board before I even finished reading Whitney's offer- and then I showed him the website and he got even more excited!

We have signed the contract and put down the deposit- now we just need to schedule a face-to-face meeting when we're back in that neck of the woods in early September to talk a little about the logistics of the big day.  I'm hoping we can get her to meet us at SpringHouse the day we do our food tasting so she can take a look around and we can talk about some specific shots, but we have yet to hash out the details.

We're so excited to have a photographer!  While we won't be working with a student, as we'd hoped, we're definitely getting a great deal from a talented artist- and most importantly, we're getting exactly what we want.  Doesn't get better than that!

Did you use an unconventional method to find your photographer?  Did you have to compromise your vision to get a price that worked for your budget, or were you willing to go over-budget to get the best of the best?

STILL Not Meant to Be?

I know we were in the middle of a discussion about photographers, but a much more pressing issue has arisen.  Tune in next time for the gripping conclusion to Mr. and Miss Potion Search for a Photographer!


Previously, on Miss Potion's Blog:

-Our colors are inspired by fall leaves- purple, red, orange, and green
-My dress is second-hand and rather old [Mr. Potion, clicking that link may be hazardous to your health.  I cannot guarantee your safety, should you click that link.  Continue at your own risk.]

-After much consideration, flats seem to be the way to go, shoe-wise


So, I gave myself a bunch of rules for choosing a shoe, remember? 

-Flats
-Comfy enough to be worn all day
-No exposed toe
-A strap
-(At least) one of our wedding colors
-TOTALLY AWESOME
-$60 or less, if possible

image via Team Starkid's merch shop.  // you should buy this shirt

This weekend, Mr. Potion and I were at the mall BUYING WEDDING BANDS, Y'ALL.  WEDDING BANDS.  THIS MAKES IT OFFICIAL.  (more on that later) and we wandered into Charlotte Russe because I just can't pass up a sale on cheaply made, slightly trashy clothes.

They were having a "buy one get one for $12" shoe sale and as I am STILL in the market for a pair of shoes, I figured I'd look around.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the most epic glittery ankle booties EVAR.  Do they meet any of the requirements?  THEY MEET THE AWESOME REQUIREMENT!

{personal photo}

Mr. Potion actually convinced me to try them on- they are, he insisted, so me, and what better time to wear slightly ridiculous shoes than your wedding day?  They're pretty kick-ass, but there's just a couple of small problems.  First off, the height:

{personal photo}

You can't really tell in this shot, but those heels are probably a good 3" high, if not more, plus the front is sitting on a platform.  Mr. Potion kept saying it's not a big deal if they're comfortable, but then I told him to stand up and kiss me.  He didn't have to lean down.  Um, weird.  That's about the time he started backing off on his enthusiasm...

The only way I could describe them when wearing them was, "They're so...Ziggy Stardust!" to which Mr. Potion replied, "...and David Bowie is the definition of awesome.  What's your point?"

image via Fishbowl NY

Of course, my generation might be more apt to think that these boots are so Lady Gaga.  And they are- in that Lady Gaga tries too hard to be "cool".  I mean, I definitely have a thing for boots...

My "combat boots", worn most often with a short floral-printed dress // {personal photo}

yes, I am a "tuck my jeans into my boots" kind of girl // {personal photo}

...it's just that the combination of an unconventional shoe style, loud, sparkly color, and crazy height makes these boots just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiittle too much.

So I didn't buy them.

I did, however, buy a nice pair of flats from that online shop I adore so much- ModCloth.  (Along with an adorable dress to wear to my upcoming bridal shower!  Eek!)  Only...I'm not sure I like them either.

{personal photo}

They meet all the requirements...except perhaps the awesome part.  I mean, they're adorable, but...I don't know.  I think there are more negatives to these than positives.  First, there's the material:

disregard the jumbled mess of wires in the background // {personal photo}

So they're made of this flexible rubber-y stuff which is super comfortable but also not very supportive.  Methinks my feet might grow weary by the end of the reception.  I have an adorable pair of flats to change into at the reception if I end up going with heels, but I'd feel silly changing from one pair of flats to another pair of flats. 

Then there's the shape- they're kind of narrow, and my feet are kind of...funky.  I have really narrow ankles and a really wide "box"- I'm not sure what you actually call it, but the part of your foot where the toes connect.  In a pointe shoe, the area at the toe is called the "box" and I always had to go with a wide box (and a narrow ankle).  Hooray for Gaynor Minden!

disregard the marks on my feet from the shoes I was wearing all day // {personal photo}

See how funky they make my feet look?  You can tell where the area around my arch appears to bulge out past the cut of the shoe.  Plus I have toe-cleavage.  Trashy.

I have 30 days from the day they shipped to return them for a refund which means I have...not a lot of time to decide if I want to keep them or not.

Finally- those cute flats I talked about for changing into?  Those would be these puppies- my oxfords:

{personal photo}

If I do end up using these as reception shoes, I plan to change out the laces with a brightly-colored ribbon.

I really, really like oxfords.  I think they're adorable.  I've been searching for oxfords in the wedding colors (and also the budget), but I haven't had any luck.  I've found silver ones, but my bridesmaids are wearing silver shoes, and I want to wear a bold color to stand out (because, you know, being the bride won't be standing out enough).

So Hive, here's where you come in.  Vote quickly, because if I'm going to exchange the ModCloth shoes, I need to do it fast!

Should I:

-Wear the ModCloth shoes, so I can be done shopping

-Go back to Charlotte Russe and get the David Bowie shoes, because it's my wedding day and I deserve to be an absolute diva, even if it will look a little silly
-Keep looking for something that meets the requirements, especially the awesome bit
-Wear some awesome oxfords you have found for me on the interwebs at a link you will provide in the comments

HELP!!